Back to the story. So here he is feeling very sad. He has withdrawn to a quite place to get away from it all. And the all was the people who constantly came to Him for healing. He just wanted to go with His friends and spend some time crying and praying to His father. It's just like going off to a stream to sit and contemplate. You'd think that as the Messiah he had the right to spend some time alone, on the earth he created. But it seems His grief was so attractive to the people that they flocked to him for answers like seagulls flock and squabble over a piece of bread you throw them. Climbing over themselves to get to Him. But that was our Jesus. He walked down the street and He stood out. He could have had a rainbow for hair of twenty bits of metal hanging out of his face, but He was the Real thing. He was God, and boy He drew people to Him like a magnet. This was the real man and when He turned His eyes to you, your whole life flashed before you. When you approached Him, he had your answer. When He spoke, His words melted your heart. And when he left, people NEVER forgot the encounter. He was a man, not of this world, and He Knew everything, and He could do anything, and in Him was all power.
But His heart. It had no bounds. His love, it had no end, and His compassion for these hurting people He created overwhelmed Him with a feeling more powerful then John The Baptist's death. For Christ was feeling sad. He was missing his friend, and His cousin. And on this morning His human heart had been crushed. He felt so human and so vulnerable, and so hurt He had to be on His own to get a grip on himself.
But His father being God needed to re focus His Son on this day. For a brief hour or so, the mighty Jesus Christ had lost sight of the spiritual dimension and was overcome with His own impending mortality. For like John, no man was to come too His rescue and unlike John, His death wasn't going to be as easy. He knew a passage in the Bible that I have never heard preached from a sermon and only was led to a month ago. And this type of punishment was going to be a lot harder then having your head cut off.
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Isaiah Chapter 52, verse 13 to 15
See my servant will act wisely; he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted. Just as many were appalled at him- his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness - so he will sprinkle many nations and kings will shut their mouths because of him. For what they were not told, they will see and what they have not heard, they will understand
You can imagine with this sort of death awaiting Him, He was pretty worried and hurt this day.
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As he was travelling over the water on the boat he was upset. He got off the boat and suddenly he is like a rock star in front of the fans. Even rock stars have security and can avoid the masses of fans that swamp them. Christ had no security. And Christ, had a heart so large that His own compassion for them outweighed His Hurt. So He gave them the fruit off His tree. He gave them healing in their bodies, then gave them the reason to why He was shining. He didn't preach to them. I don't think he ever preached. He shared with them, the wisdom he possessed and if He were the same person he is today, he would have been answering all their unspoken questions.
Can you imagine question time with Jesus$%: We'd all be asking the same sort of questions and answering about ten thousand people one by one would take a while. Wouldn't be easier to read each persons mind as you heal them, see all questions they have, and then get up and answer them in a story like this one. Besides if you have ever seen Jesus in some one's eyes you'll know that little has to be said. The download of data is faster then any computer can save up
Suddenly after healing the people, He got caught up with His purpose for being on the earth and His ministry on that day to the hurting healed His own heart. The Holy Spirit held Him up and as he rested back in His vulnerability, He dropped one of the biggest miracles that the world has ever seen. And that wasn't to impress anyone. That was just part of His spirituality. It came with excelling in His ministry. It was all part of the job.
His job back then was similar to my ministry in the cab. It was the same as me switching the meter off when I was sharing with a person in the cab. The day to day job was over when the car stopped, and yet the spiritual job was finished when all the persons question and needs had been met.
And now four years later I am writing this to you. Yes I have had those eyes I crave in other men. And no, I haven't needed to see those men again. You can't forget those encounters. And the people, who have met me through the years and experienced Jesus through my eyes, will never forget me either. I have never seen one of these strangers since. I don't think Jesus needs me to see them ever again. He has got them where he wanted them. I'm just the little boy with fish and bread, when Christ needs to feed a hungry soul.
He needs you too
Jesus was only a man. But look at the impact He made. He cried real tears. He bled real blood. And he had a real mother who mourned His death. I am only a guy too. But now thousands of people are having the chance to see my light also. You don't need many qualifications to see real miracles happen. Just two of the qualifications are here.
1. Be available.
2. Be willing to do what He tells you.
I only read two books for spiritual insight. The first is the Bible. My favorite passage, in the whole Bible and the one that I have claimed for my own life is this one below. I could spend pages telling the meaning behind it. And if you click on the verse, the link will take you to those pages. But the best way to understand the Bible is to know the author, and have a relationship with Him. And then like me, you can learn to be still in your soul and let Christ illuminate the very words off the page and into your being.
Psalm Chapter 1: verse 1 to 3
Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.
The second book is titled. -"Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ."
I strongly encourage any person no matter what their background to read this book. This book has had a very flavored past and it has inspired some really huge men of God. It simply teaches you how to have Jesus come and fellowship within your soul and stay with you. It shows you how to turn your mind off and to bathe in the love and insight Christ has for you in nature, people and most importantly His word. And practiced enough, this knowledge becomes a habit and soon enough you will be able to have real, live conversations with Jesus and more importantly see and treat the world through HIS EYES.
Jesus is waiting
My friend is waiting for you. He will take you just as you are. You don't need to pack a bag. You don't need to be dressed well. You don't even have to be living a good life. He wants you as you are. He wants to extend His hand to you and take you to a place you never dreamed he could. There are a number of ways you can get to meet Him.
You can pray this prayer below:
Dear Jesus. I realize that you are the Son of God. I know now in my heart that you are calling me into a relationship with you. I know that you came to this earth and died on a cross so that I may come to know you better. I accept that you are now living and want me to come to know you better. I accept that you died for my sins and I ask you to forgive them for me. Help me to forgive the other people who have wronged me.
I ask you Jesus to come into my life. Come into my heart and live within me. And I look forward to spending each day with your company. Amen
You can contact me:
email:survivors.sanctaury@gmail.com or simply pressing here
or you can ring your friend:
I am confident if you are reading this, which you gave a friend, mother, or relative, who is a Christian. You know the one. They're praying for you. Just give them a call and tell them you want to invite Jesus into your heart, and they'll know what to do.
And whatever you decide, I pray that you find all of the answers your heart and mind is looking for.
My Love and God's grace
Matthew Payne
Ps
This was written some five years ago just a couple of years after my first breakdown. I went off my medication after six months and went into a state of mania that lasted a few years until I came crashing down again. I have been on medication for four years now.
One day I may be healed but at present I am classified as a schitzo-effective disorder which is a cross between a manic depressive and a schizophrenic. It's simply because I have symptoms of both. So it's funny in a way I have healed a lot of my past from sexual abuse and a wrong sexuality and sexual addictions and now I have a mental illness to keep me going strong in the Lord.
Of late though as an update, I have been getting messages for six months from Jesus for strangers in the streets of the city of Sydney Australia where I live. Some are short sentences, some can last quite a long while. The information I get from the Lord is about a person and I go over to them and share with them the information I have received and a message from Jesus. This is amazing and so many people are really really touched.
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From time to time on chat channels that I sometimes go to the Lord will direct me to s specific person and He will have a message for that person. This is always well received.
It is a fun way of witnessing and very unique, the three gifts of the Spirit He uses are, prophecy, word of knowledge and words of wisdom. I encourage you to write to me, perhaps Jesus has a special word for you.
Oh by the way my doctor likes hearing that I speak to God and continues to give me medication to stop the Holy Spirit, but Jesus and me have a bit of a laugh.
Have a wonderful day.
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